So I embarked on the 3 day cleanse promoted by Dr. Oz but not before my new little nephew decided he was ready to be born. Contributing to the truth that nothing happens the way you plan for it.
So a quick side note before we get to the detox -
I love all my nephews and niece, and all my friends kids. I love them very much! However when I was sitting in that hospital room holding him, I felt like my womb was so pissed off at me! It was all "what are you waiting on?" I mean again, the proverbial they seem to know what they are talking about. The biological clock crap is no joke. As you get older you start to really get freaked out about not having kids. And every new little baby you hold you start to think "I've got to get one of these."
All these crazy getting older thoughts are running through my head when I'm trying to pep myself up for this detox.
Damn you Dr. Oz!!!!! This three day cleanse or detox was hilarious. First off, buying so many fresh fruits and vegetables is really expensive.(I know that sounds bratty b/c it's so healthy) The morning blended fruits and vegetables wasn't too bad but the lunch time drink tastes like straight up grass and the supper drink is hot and spicy. Crazy town! I'm drinking them out of a wine glass trying to make it better sometimes having to use a spoon. Some how I made it but I did slip up and eat some solid food. So not full on so I'm going to try it again.
Here is the Lunch time grass
After the detox was done I went to donate blood. They always have a rough time finding my veins so that wasn't a surprise but my blood coming out so slowly was. It was barley moving and they kept having to adjust the needle to get it going again. Which resulted in my bag not filling up and being told that I was dehydrated. Dehydrated?! Really, I mean I've been drinking for 3 days! But out the needle came. That was the first time I was unable to finish and it was very disappointing. The giant bruise on my arm was a reminder to drink tons of water no matter what else I may be drinking!!
On to working days -
Now days I am back in the office for most days which is a huge temptation to eat poorly simply because it's easy. Turns out procrastinating and dieting aren't the best of companions. However I've started trying to do the couch to 5k thingy. Which isn't super fun either. But I'm trying it. If I don't want to be seen trying to run I have to get up crazy early. And for no one to see me trust me it's worth it!
It was still cold out when I first started. That first time I had woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I started praying and realized/felt convicted that for most of my life I have used food and my weight as a comfort and sort of protection from the wounds of this world. I turned to something that wasn't God to be my comfort and protection. I don't know how I just now realized how not good that was, just how much that has affected my relationship with him. As much as I've wanted to or thought I had, I realized that I have not giving everything up to him. I have not allowed him to be everything to me. That is some heavy crap to confess and deal with at 3 in the morning. I started on my run/walk thing at 5 with a hat, scarf, gloves, headphones, and a play list. The moon was full, bright and high above the trees. Once I get half way my little app tells me that it's time to start heading back. When I turn to head back this very sad little song starts to play, the moon is before me and a thought strikes me. This moment, this fat girl break down, running in the early morning, crying in prayer, confessing my struggle, is like a freaking crazy, don't know if it's going to end happy independent movie. You know the kind where you see the trailer and you're like, "I want to see that but I don't know, it seems kind of sad, like it might not end happy." Sometimes they really surprise you and you love them. Other times you watch them and are asking yourself did I just really waste 2 hours of my life on this just to feel depressed? ugh I really hope mine turns out to be scenario number 1. I will say some days I just don't know how this is going to go but keeping I must!
I'm putting a picture of myself because I want to remember what this time looks like no matter how sad it sometimes is! It's 5 in the morning, no make up don't judge!
Right, so I'm not a writer so never judge me as one, I know this has been crazy spastic!
