Slacker

So it turns out the only thing that I am consistent at is inconsistency.
I will be adding that to my list!

In my sad defense several things have happened in my time away from this blog.
• My BFF had her first born, a beautiful baby girl
• I went on vacation (total vacation)
• I had a biometric screening (depressing)
• Started a new diet plan
• I started going to Zumba (inconsistently of course)
• My job went crazy and then I started working from home
• September came and ruined everything (fall is not a fav time of mine)

We will start with my biometric screening:
Picture this; I roll into work tan, care free, and happy from vacation only to find out that my health gets to be assessed that very day. I knew it was going to happen but right after vacation is a real bummer especially considering that I ate a Krispy Kreme doughnut every other day that week. Finding a primary doctor is on my list of life improvements so I decide to not stress about being told how unhealthy I am because in the long run this is good and it will be something helpful to take to my new doctor. I head downstairs to sign in and to get this over with. While waiting my turn I notice that there are two people doing the actual screenings one a woman and the other a man. I thought to myself “don’t freak out you’ll probably get the slightly overweight woman,” I was wrong. When my name was called it was by the young attractive non-ring wearing man. In I go to the makeshift examination room where said man takes my blood pressure, sugar, cholesterol, height, weight, and circumference of my stomach. Yes, that happened and it was horrible. As soon as my name was called I decided to act, or to pretend as I’ve done for most of my life that, pretend that I am more confident than I really am. A quick banter started between us, he was very nice, witty and upsetting. In a polite way he said that perhaps I should try lap band. It was everything I could do not to cry but I replied with a laugh and then the most sarcastic thing I could think of. So needless to say it was fun times. There is nothing like a fat person being told they are unhealthy and need to lose weight by an attractive skinny person. Good times, good times!

I moved past that and laughed and told the story to ease the depression.

My new diet plan which is done by my BFF’s mom is working which is awesome. Slow, but weight watchers always says it’s a life style change right?!
I’ve started going to Zumba which is fun and embarrassing. I am glad there are no mirrors because I probably wouldn’t go if I saw myself jiggling around.

I have one more week of being 28 and then my 29th year will begin and I will have just 12 months to make this miracle happen. I can’t believe my life is going like this, I mean it isn’t horrible my life is good. I just want to press pause catch up with everyone and then press play again but that is not how life happens. Hopefully this next year will be a gloriously fun one with me actually trying to be a better person.
Cheers to my last week of sounding even a teensy bit young. I’m off to drink some pinot grigio!

Here we go!

In fifteen months I will be thirty, thirty, I mean what the heck?

This realization of my last months as a twenty something has resulted in me having a freak out session that is lasting kind of long and manifesting in a ginormous list of how I can be a better person. On this list is of course are health and overall happiness two things that consistent exercise can improve......womp womp womp!

Don’t get me wrong I’ve exercised before I’m not a complete newbie to this game but I’ve never been consistent. I’ve always given up; I have an okay start and then a really sorry follow through. I want to change that; I want to be someone who follows through whether it is a craft project or a household chore (also on the list). I don’t want to turn thirty and still be the same procrastinating inconsistent person. Life can have as many mile markers as we want it to and I know thirty doesn’t mean I’m “old” but I want it to mean something. The more mile markers you have the more likely you are to remember the trip and I want to have memories and hilarious stories to tell when I am golden girl “old.”

Let the endorphins begin: Day 1 Yoga


Alright, alright, alright
Yoga.... not for the overweight!

I am sure there is some really fantastic limber overweight person somewhere that is crazy good at yoga.... I am not that person! My yoga expeirence started with a Denise Austin video and ended with me, wait for it .. Sweatin' to the Oldies with Richard.

I think Denise failed to realize it is physically impossible to bend something that is round like a ball, it can't happen. I was so discouraged and upset with Denise. I had to revert to old faithful, the work out video that never lets me down. I mean Richard knows how fat people work and more importantly how they don't work, he was one of us. And yes he is kind of crazy we all know that but he is also kind of awesome too! He puts real live fat people in his workout videos letting the fat person at home know that it is possible to do this because there are fatter people than you doing it!

So for now I will be ponying it up with Richard in hopes of losing a few lb.’s and flexible mediation will have to wait until this fat girl is a little less like a ball.